


Moving Forward

by snowharasho



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: M/M, Post Game, Spoilers, canon character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:14:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21834250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowharasho/pseuds/snowharasho
Summary: Naegi struggles to move on from Ishimaru’s death.
Relationships: Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Naegi Makoto, Naegi Makoto/Ishimaru Kiyotaka
Kudos: 45





	Moving Forward

It was cold. 

Naegi pulled the blankets higher, a desperate attempt for warmth. He pulled his knees higher, his body closer, tighter and squeezed his eyes shut. His mind is busy busy busy, his heart racing, and he wants it to stop. 

He doesn’t want the sun to rise. He doesn’t want to sleep, and then wake up. He doesn’t want tomorrow to come. 

He’s seen this a million times, and he wants it to stop. 

But it never does. 

Monokuma’s voice blasted through the speakers, grating his ears, and his hand reaches to cover it. 

“Good morning, everyone! It is now 7am, and night time is officially over! Time to rise and shine!” 

Naegi didn’t move for a long time. His body felt limp, and he couldn’t find the energy to move. But somehow, he sits up, and slowly makes his way to the toilet. 

He looks at himself in the mirror. 

Even though he didn’t sleep, there were no eye bags at all. In fact, he looked so full of life, so hopeful, so naive. 

So completely different from his current self. 

There was a sudden coolness on his face, and he realised that it was wet. A towel dried it off, and soon he was headed for the cafeteria. 

He wanted it to stop. He wanted to scream. He didn’t want to see it again. 

There were people at the cafeteria. They were sitting at their own corners. Naegi sits at an empty seat. It was next to an empty seat, meant for, meant for- 

And then he felt the world fly past him like a blur. He screamed again, for it to stop, but nothing came out. 

_Slow down! Please!_

It slows down. It slows down until he can see familiar shoes in front of the physics laboratory. It slows down, so painfully slow, as a hand reaches out for the door knob and pushes open the door. 

And then his body curls up once again as he sees Ishimaru’s lifeless body. The contents of his breakfast threatened to spill, and he clutched his stomach as he struggled to scream. Memories of a past he was forced to forget resurfaced, and he struggled. 

He struggled to accept the fact that the Naegi then, had forgotten about him. He struggled to accept that the Naegi then, barely felt anything, accepting his death so easily. He struggled to accept that he didn’t do anything to help him. 

He couldn’t forgive himself for forgetting how much he loved him. 

—

“Didn’t sleep well?” 

A pair of gloved hands came into view, with stack of papers between them. 

“... I had that dream again.” 

Naegi accepted the papers and placed them neatly on his desk. He skimmed through them briefly, forcing himself to focus on the task, and not his thoughts. 

“... Everyone is worried.” She said, her voice softer than usual. 

“Sorry…” Is all he says, because it is all he ever knows. 

Kirigiri sits on the couch near the door. She doesn’t say anything more, so Naegi looks back down to the papers that he needs to look through. 

“You could always use that.” 

Naegi looks up again. It was slight, but her brows were tenser than usual. She was serious. 

‘That’ could only be referring to alter ego. She probably meant the same thing alter ego had done for _him_ \- and recreated an AI of the one he loved. 

It sounded perfect, and maybe… maybe he could move on and stop worrying everyone. 

_But…_

“No… I can’t do that.” 

He couldn’t, because that wasn’t actually Ishimaru. He felt like it would have been a betrayal, and easy way out just to feel better. And… he felt like he wasn’t ready to see him again just yet. 

If Kirigiri had something to say, she didn’t say it, and instead acknowledges his answer with a nod. 

Naegi was thankful for the company, and returns back to work. 

—

After many months of searching, he finally locates the last remnant of despair. 

Climbing through the weathered steps of whatever was left of the school, Naegi reaches the fourth floor.

At the far end near a broken window stood a man with long black hair. He turns to look back. 

“You’re finally here.” 

Kamukura Izuru, the last remnant of despair, the Ultimate Hope, stood before him. 

As someone people referred to as the Ultimate Hope himself, Naegi felt inferior in every way. 

“...Yes. And I’ve come to take you away.” 

“So I’ve heard.” Kamukura turns back to look outside again. Naegi notices a flower on the table. 

“... How boring.” 

Naegi looks at him, questioning. 

Kamukura looks back. 

“You’re haunted by the death of your lover. And even as the killing game ends, the despair continues to grow, just as she had hoped.” He pauses as he looks out at the flaming city. “How predictable, for someone called the ‘Ultimate Hope’.” 

Naegi winces, and doesn’t say anything. He simply wraps the handcuffs around his hands. Kamukura lets him. 

The two made their way out of the classroom. At some point Naegi must have stopped and stared, because Kamukura let out a disgruntled noise at the lack of movement. 

“Ah sorry… I just wanted to check this place one last time.” 

Kamukura tells him that he’ll wait outside, and Naegi trusts that he won’t make an effort to escape. 

Naegi enters the wrecked classroom, the classroom that he had entered many times before. He gets filled with nostalgia, and an overwhelming sadness. 

He wished he could bring everyone back. 

He goes to _his_ desk. Pulling the chair out, he was about to sit down when he noticed the notebook under the table. 

His hand reaches out and grabs it, then pulls it out to see. It was a slightly worn out notebook, with ‘Ishimaru Kiyotaka’ written neatly in a corner. 

Surely this would have been burnt in the war? He looks back at Kamukura, then focuses on the book again. 

His hands froze, and he couldn’t bring himself to read it. It took a great deal of courage and time, but eventually, with shaky hands, he pried it open. 

Some of the words were unreadable, but it looked to be some sort of diary. Naegi reads an entry that wasn’t destroyed.

‘Today, I’ve finally confronted Naegi-kun about my feelings! Initially, I wrote him a letter, but was too nervous to pass it to him. In the end, after countless research, I have figured out that inviting him to the rooftop was a safer option! Naegi-kun said he had something he wanted to say as well, so he accepted it easily.’ 

The rest of the words were illegible. Naegi could feel his heart tighten and his eyes blur, but he continued to read whatever he could. 

‘...who would have thought Naegi-kun felt the same! I told him that I wanted to run this country together with him by my side, and Naegi-kun seemed shocked. He didn’t seem very enthusiastic, and I wondered if I was being too pushy again, but it turns out he was worried if he could become someone like that. I told him that he was really amazing! As long as he works hard, he can do anything!’ 

The tears were falling down now, and Naegi took a moment to wipe them before continuing. 

‘We promised that we would run the country together, and rebuild it to something more amazing. 

I really hope my feelings came through to him.’ 

Naegi hugged the diary closer towards his chest, with tears uncontrollably falling down. He screamed his frustration, sadness, all at once, because for once he didn’t have to act like an ‘Ultimate Hope’. For once he didn’t have anyone around him that he would worry, and for once he finally knew what he had to do. 

From the corner, Kamukura looked. The result was predictable as usual, but for a split second, his chest felt tight, just like when he had met that dying girl.

—

It was cold. It was still cold. 

But somewhere deep inside, it was starting to grow warm. 

Because he had finally realised to embrace the memories that he had with him, and not to wallow in regrets. 

He was far from getting over it, but he had taken a small step. 

Naegi looked at the reconstruction of the school and smiled. His hands clutched the red armband with pride. 

If he was watching, maybe he would be proud of him. 

He slapped his cheeks, then went back to his friends that were waiting for him. 

“Alright, let’s rebuild the school! For the sake of a brighter hope!”

**Author's Note:**

> I haven’t written in a while! Inspired by my sister’s angsty fic, I decided to write Naegi’s struggles! I hope you enjoyed it!


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